I remember dear Maude Skinner
Who ate beans, every night for dinner.
When she ate enough,
she would start to puff
and everyone was a winner.
There was a sweet Miss from Kent
who got into trouble with her rent.
she spent all her cash
on nothing but trash
and now she's fasting for Lent.
There once was a drunk from Dover
who fell asleep in the clover.
he woke up and said,
what's this on my head
The cows had splattered him all over.
There was a hot lady from Humber.
Who taught her sugar daddy how to rumba!
As he moved his hips
he no doubt had his chips
and became the mortuary's next number.